The
Collapse in Fatherhood in Things Fall
Apart
One of my closest friends had an
extremely unstable and difficult relationship with his father. He said that his
father would put on a public display praising him among family and friends but
behind closed doors he was often berated. These insults were so hurtful that he
referred to them as land mines. The consequences of these hurtful “land mines”
left mental scars that resulted in a deep schism between father and son. This
also led to an emotional collapse with his father causing irreparable damage
that affected his life to this today. In Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, we
see a breakdown between a father and son relationship which created a very
detrimental effect. A relationship between a father and son can have a
decidedly profound impact on each other’s lives. Whether this relationship is
bifurcated, the psychological effects of having intimate or inadequate
parenting skills can have a nurturing or depriving effect on a child's
personality from birth all throughout adulthood. The carved figure of a son
that Okonkwo had hoped for was erased due to his egoistic character and
terrible parenting skills.
The most prominent and compelling theme
in the novel originates from the main character Okonkwo and his ongoing battle
to be different from his own father. "And no Okonkwo was ruled by one
passion- to hate everything that his father Unoka had loved. One of those
things was gentleness and the other was idleness" (Achebe 28). This quote
implies that Okonkwo’s father had a negative impact on him, which resulted in
Okonkwo himself constantly trying to avoid his father’s character traits. His
extreme hatred towards weakness was heightened by his father, who didn’t uphold
these ideals the way he felt he should have. According to Achebe, the main
character detested his father at a very young age, “Even as a little boy he had
resented his father’s failure and weakness, and even now he still remembered
how he had suffered when a playmate had told him that his father was
agbala.”(28). The Igbo tribe uses the term “agbala” which is used to describe
“woman”. Okonkwo considered his father to be weak, effeminate, poor,
disgraceful, and always in debt to his fellow tribe people. Okonkwo’s life
rotates around the fear of becoming a failure and adopting the pitiful
misfortune which had befallen his father. Due to this self-rooted perception of
failure there are indications that he tries to rise above his father’s pathetic
legacy.
The breakdown of Okonkwo’s relationship
with his son is evident throughout this novel. The reason for this tumultuous
relationship is, Okonkwo is too engrossed in maintaining his status quo and the
relationship was governed by his own beliefs, principles and his “right way to
do right things”. He abided by and treated his family in a strict manner as he
believed that showing affection revealed a sign of social weakness.
Consequently, the disheartening lack of respect and love was malnourishing on
the social fabric and cohesiveness of the family.This story maintains a
constant theme of conflict. Nwoye lives in perpetual fear of his father.
Okonkwo constantly chastises his son and finds fault with everything he does.
He threatens his son and does not hesitate to verbally abuse him. For example,
when he is teaching Nwoye to manage seed-yams, he threatens Nwoye with physical
abuse if he does not cut up the yams properly: “If you split another yam of this
size, I shall break your jaw. You think you are still a child. I
began to farm at your age. I will not have a son who cannot hold up his head in
the gathering of the clan. I would sooner strangle him with my own hands'"
(Achebe 59). This is an inappropriate and harsh way for a father to discipline
his son.
Whether
corporal punishment was accepted in the Ibo culture or not, Okonkwo’s verbal
and physical abuse weakened the relationship with Nwoye until he left for the
missionaries. Although Okonkwo seems to want what was best for his son Nwoye to
prosper as a real man, I believe that it is immoral to impose control through
violence or threats thereof. When it comes to parenthood, Okonkwo has tunnel
vision which inevitably led him disgracing his son and making mistakes as his
own father did. “I will not have a son who cannot hold his head in the
gathering of the clan. I would sooner strangle him with my own hands. And if
you stand staring at me like that,” he swore, “Amadiora will break your head
for you!” (Achebe 60). This iterates the brutal way that Okonkwo treated his
son and reinforces Okonkwo’s deplorable parenting skills.
In
the story there was also an atrocious and tragic incident where Okonkwo killed
his adopted son, Ikemefuna. He heard Ikemefuna cry, “My father they have killed
me! As he ran towards him. Dazed with fear, Okonkwo drew his machete and cut
him down. He was afraid of being though weak” (Achebe 106) .He was in a dilemma
at a point in time but it all ended up with the murder of an innocent kid. I
pondered if Okonkwo can kill a child he was very close to, what would stop him
from killing Nwoye, his own flesh and blood? He was so consumed with the clan’s
customs and portraying toughness that he actively participated in committing
this immoral act. Because of this action, his biological son grew a tinge of
anger and hatred towards him day by day. He did not love his children enough or
show them compassion.
The killing of
Ikemefuna is a demonstration of how the tribe has these beliefs and rituals
that are often detrimental and illogical. According to the quote, “Okonkwo did
not taste any food for two days after the death of Ikemefuna. He drank palm
wine from morning till night, and his eyes were red and fierce like the eyes of
a rat when it was caught by the tail and dashed against the floor” (109).
Although Okonkwo feels he is doing the right thing in raising Nwoye, his harsh
treatment drives his son further away from him. “At any rate, that was how it
looked to his father, and he sought to correct him by constant nagging and
beating. And so Nwoye was developing into a sad-faced youth” (Achebe 16). Nwoye
felt no love or attention from his father. This naive and amiable twelve year
old struggled in the shadow of his powerful and demanding father. Nwoye’s
relationship with his father progressively deteriorates because he is unable to
tolerate his father’s dictatorial attitude.
In
chapter 17, Achebe gives an insight into how displeased the main character
became when he found out his son was mingling with the Christians. To Okonkwo,
that was a sacrilegious act and a profound personal and cultural betrayal. Yet
it was the wretched relationship between them that forced the son to follow the
missionaries. Nwoye had to make a life-changing decision of converting from the
Ibo culture to Christianity. “Nwoye turned round to walk into the inner
compound when his father, suddenly overcome with fury, sprang to his feet and
gripped him by the neck ” (Achebe 240).
This incident provides further proof of the father’s antipathy and
impatience with his son which could have resulted in his death was it not for
the uncle’s intervention.
Analyzing
this story, it can be perceived that Nwoye was estranged from the folklore and
creed of the clan. He undermines his father’s social approval and rejected
everything that he stood for. Okonkwo’s death came exactly as Nwoye was
becoming cognizant of his function within the clan and started to develop a
sense of self- awareness. Overall, Okonkwo failed in his quest to raise his son
uprightly lost his son by virtue of his own shortcomings. His rejection of his
father’s lifestyle formulated a strange parallel rejection of his own son.
Should Okonkwo have placed less emphasis on his title, Nwoye would not have ran
away to pursue an alternative lifestyle, separate and alien to his clan. As
exhibited in the anecdote, good parenting abilities are vital to maintain a
viable relationship with children. The value of a father in children’s life
should never be miscalculated or underestimated.
Works
Cited
Achebe, Chinua. Things Fall Apart. New York:
Anchor Books, 2010. E-book.
